Acute Mental Health Awareness

The term, Mental Health Awareness, has a trite ring to it. "Mental Health Awareness Week." "Mental Health Awareness Month," and the like. But there's another version of MHA. Acute Mental Health Awareness. AMHA is the immediate assessment of one's mental health at any moment in time. A snapshot. For example, what is causing me to feel bad right now? Well, I am aware of the fact that I am suffering, for example. Suffering how? Feels like anxiety, worry, fear. Or, I'm suffering because of a buot of depression. Familiar, familial depression that I know so very well. I've actually realized what's up. And realizaing this is very therapuetic. In fact, it is the impetus for the predictable parting of dark clouds. It is the impetus for an exercise I refer to as "changing channels," which involves actually moving my body to another room, or outside, which always seems to reboot my affect. Changing Channels always leads me to new channels. Channels of housework, wilflowers, workwork, and excercise, which is damn near a panacea onces my heart reaches that aerobic pump. The agencies that will prevent all is being stationary (the worst is staying in bed). (Next worse: being glued to streaming and social media). Calling to check in on a friend seems to open all kinds of doors. All my friends are elderly now. In fact, Lionel, Ida, Linda, Doug, Sylvia and Carroll are quite a bit older than me, so the "checking in" is all too apporpriate. Stepping out into the sunlight, eyes closed with my face it the trajectory of the its intense lumens work wonders. Showering is very effective to rebbot. Keeping things in order keeps my myriad countennces in order. Texting is now at my disposal. So, there's that, too. Connection. My social needs are met by taking a trip to one of my three sournces of goods: Food City, Ingles, and the Neighborhood market. Depression is important, too. Though horrific at times, it creates a backdrop which allows it's opposite to jump off the page when the times comes. It's call homeostasis, known in varying degrees as menal wellness, happiness, and, when the sundust hovers just right, and the singularity seals perfectly snug within me, joy has been known to pay me a visit. Mental Health, like all else, is an ongoing process that is changing at all times. I wrote this down because it reminds me that it's on me to keep track of it all, especially when things aren't going well internally. In the end, depression is ephemeral. Just remind my mind: this bout could change at any second, and it usually does.

She's So Cold Extended

The Universe Inside

I was up before first light, first ensuring that the hallmark above my mind was secure, and it was. Deeply etched was the word, Faith, above it, standing sentinal. Faith in myself and, if I stay three-treasures fit, complete faith in the Way. Realizing first as I concentrated on my diaphram, that one can absorb the sutras, like speed reading. Samadal, sutral, mindful concentration, feet first, then floating slowly upward through my bones, muscles, gelatanous pipes and cables. Anatomical identification scores the rising scan of my body. I realized that my sentience was the mudroom into the house of craving. I, too, understood that the wonder of my body coalesced, not into the hard and soft hardware and software within, but into point where there is singularity, like your God Almighty. The point at which I'm free to extrapolate the magic of my joint and several body outward into the holes of space, absorbing the sutras and dharma abstractly without reading a word. But, you can't cheat at this, so there's much to be done.

Michael Brecker Quartet🔝🔝 Terrassa Jazz Festival 1999 Part 1

Nandina ice

Appalachian American Ennui and Antinatalism

A man who lives in the next county over, and who does not even know that he is part Jewish, has taught his eight year old granddaughter the Nazi Seig Heil salute. Her mother is the eye witness and can do nothing about it because her production of offspring has hemmed her in to her the monster's home where she is stuck. Antinatalism should be taught in the schools. "Motherhood mean mental freeze." And I just learned that the ruining child called a little boy a monkey because of his race. The man in the next county over is grooming another monster in his trumpian image. This is AAE at it's worst. This is the rule, not the exception, in these Clinch mountains that lean in order to hide these snug pockets of sadness from the rest of most of us.

My Brother by Another Mother - Michael Paul Smith - Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone; and I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

The link to his music appears below his picture. https://www.bandmix.com/michael-p-smith/

Michael Paul Smith: Fast Forward

My heart breaks for you, Michael.  When I look at this picture of you, my eyes try to play tricks on me.  They conspire with my consciousness to create the ostensible lie that whispers to me that you're always sad, constantly depressed, and steeped in continuous loathing, all based upon this almost incomprehensible visage of the countenance that prison has heaped upon you.  I have to remind myself that you probably smile, or laugh even, and that this photograph is a spark that was pitifully, sadly captured nanoseconds before you grinned out its proper opposite. I've heard the joy of prisoners as they discuss their retarded anecdotes, while coughing out loud.  It's what J.D. Salinger meant when he wrote of  the rocking back and forth "between the grief and the high delight."  I, too, am intimately familiar with both extremes, one more than the other. So we share that, and a cruel father and that's about it.

BETWEEN THE TEMPLES | Official Trailer (2024)

Check all the boxes. This is a great movie. Well done.

The Law is a Hateful Thing.

Ida Miller nailed it when she uttered these sage words: "Paul, the practice of law must be a hateful thing." Indeed it is, Ida Miller. I suppose that I inadvertently taught her this truth, which condensed this awful reality. It's no coincidence that she uttered the maxim when she did, like synchronicity in real time, because my recent experiences with my practice drew out hordes of hatred in me. Yes, I was successful, but this time I actually harmed another human being in obtaining my client's desired result. Her arresting officer was a young woman whose dream had been realized when she got her badge. I saw the bodycam and dashcam of her going out the arrest of my client, and, quite honestly, she did everything by the book. She was compassionate in the process of detaining my very troubled client. This is the exception. Please know that. Jenna worked her case like new recruits normally do; everything by the book. In fact, this was her first arrest. And well done it was. So my job began when I was retained. The matter lingered on the docket for months and months, as is the norm. We had hearings. Motions. I even retained the serives of an expert witness from the University of Tennessee. Our trial date was set. November 8, 2924, which was yesterday. During the course of my representation I was told that my victim had earlier been forced to resign her position as a police officer. With trial approaching, I did what I am actually required to do as directed by the sixth amendment to the constituion, and its state counterpart. To provide "effective" assistance of counsel. So I filed motions to reveal the undergirding reasons Jenna was forced to resign, and I subpoenaed her personnel file as well as herself. I was agressive through the agency of pure exploitation of the perceived weakness that I now saw in the State's case. As I am now old, this conduct on my part in pursuit of my practice bites very deeply into my conscience. I used to feeel practically nothing when engaging in similar strategies. But, in this case, which ultimately resolved to my client's satisfaction on account of the harm I did to this young lady in putting her in fear of having to testify about the mistake that cost her career, I got sick. I am still sick. Physically, I my stomach has revolted against me. I can barely eat now. And mentally, I have lost much of what I had gained in overcoming depression. I deserve this hell that has now had hold of me for a week now. My mind an body have revolted against me. I am sick and I ought to be sick. I think I should see this as a warning. So many criminal defense attorneys drink this away, or worse. I see it in their elderly faces when they come to court bloated and red. I honestly feel like I would welcome returning to the earth, but that is not up to me, so I suffer. Suffering is baked in to this life, and my time has come again to suffer and am left exsanguinated. I take solace in the justice that it has brought to the fore. I want the world to be underpinned with broad justice, so maybe this is evidende of that. I do thank god that I realize this. I am aware. I have a conscience. I am depleted, but still here. The moment this kicked in, I immediately felt my age. Mind, too, that I've been a professional keeper of secrets for 34 years. Thick folders, accordians, and bankers boxes full of "confidences and secrets," according to the mandate of the Supreme Court of the State of Tennessee. They weigh heavy but, because of that weight, some weird neuroplasticity kicks in that enables the burden to keep things from collapsing. And now I've remembered that love rises within the law, too.

Bad Kingdom - Moderat

Brian Jonestown Massacre - Pish