Appalachian American Ennui
It's time to quit pretending that I am not old.
Saturday, August 29, 2026
Friday, August 28, 2026
Crystal Jones
It came out of nowhere and threw me violently within the walls of the little market spot on East Main. After she left, I was dizzy, confused, and emotionally energized like I've only been lucky enough to experience now three times in my life. Its power stripped layers off of me, instantaneously. And when she told me that this probably was not a very good idea, I respected that. I deleted you from everything, so so I thought. But, I stumbled across this image today on my text messages, quite by accident. It was strange because I was looking for something else altogether while visiting with a female inmate. When the image appeared I immediately and involuntarily said, "No!" So, regardless of the outcome, it feels honest, and warm to have her snug in my chest. Come what may, I'm so much better off for having spent that brief amount of time with her. But, I've crossed paths with Crystal several times in the past and remember that she always pressed pause on whatever I was doing at the time. So odd. I'm afraid of her, and I'm not afraid of much at all.
Thursday, August 27, 2026
Tuesday, August 25, 2026
Rebecca Sedwick, age 12 -- Bullied to Death
I read accounts of bad news all the time, but I can't seem to shake this one. You'd think that in a planned world children would not be among the most vile, hurtful segment of the population. This beautiful child, Rebecca solved her predicament by jumping to her death. The bullying continued posthumously -- one of the bullies wrote this on her Facebook page: “yes I bullied Rebecca and she killed herself, but I don’t give a fuck.” There's a little secret that enlightened first-grade teachers keep to themselves: some children are just no damned good. I argue that these little monsters are even worse than that. Just ask Becky's family. Existentialism has a pretty face. She wears no makeup. She's confused. She's terrified. All the Gods and Goddesses wouldn't, didn't, couldn't intervene in this, the latest of innumerable human horrors. I think that if someone were to reason that this was "God's will," I'd lose all control. Insanity reigns hallowed within the cells of human ignorance.
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